You’ve worked hard in school and have been accepted to a great university! Good for you! Going away to college is an exciting experience, one that can open many doors to your future. You’ll learn so much and make many good friends along the way. Even so, you may sometimes find yourself in situations that make you uncomfortable, unhappy or confused, especially when your beliefs and the pressure to fit in clash. How can you hold on to your culture when you’re in the minority at your college?
Many students of different races and cultures have experienced this challenge, and here’s what they suggest to help you when you’ve gone to school away from your friends and family.
Keep Your Traditions. The traditions you grew up with helped make you who you are. Adjusting to an unfamiliar culture can be exhausting, even more exhausting than getting to all your classes and keeping up your grades! You’ll feel more grounded and able to cope if you follow your normal routines. So…
- Preserve your mode of dress. Maybe it makes you stand out, and maybe other students stare at you. Ignore them. Just like their culture is new to you, your culture is new to them. Just by being yourself, you’re helping to educate them about your country, your culture, and about you.
- Practice your faith. Faith is what helps us through the difficult times, and even if it seems you’re the only Muslim/Christian/Jew/Hindu/Buddhist or whatever, there are probably others on campus or in your town you haven’t met yet. Even if you are the only one, believe what is true for you and take comfort from it.
- Celebrate your holidays. Colleges and universities are very sensitive to the holidays of all their students. If your holiday falls on a class day and you need the day off, speak to your undergraduate or graduate advisor, in advance of the date, and explain how that holiday is observed. They can speak to your professors on your behalf and have your absence excused.
- Find others who speak your language, share your faith, etc. It’s a lot more fun to celebrate holidays with people who share your heritage, so ask if there are organized groups or clubs on campus for students like you. If not, look outside your school. There may be groups you can join in the larger community off-campus. Check online or ask your advisor.
- Be a Cultural Ambassador. Did someone make fun of your clothing or say something rude about your country or religion? Don’t stoop to their level. Ignorance shows itself in many ways. Educate, don’t escalate! Keep your cool. Smile (if you can). Tell them you’ll be happy to answer any questions they have when they can ask you politely and with respect. Alternately, ignore them. If they continue to insult you, report it to your professor, your residence director, your advisor or the Dean of Students. Do not feel like you have to handle everything yourself.
- Keep an open mind. Don’t forget you’re here to learn. It’s okay to ask questions (politely and with respect). It’s okay to accept a new friend’s invitation to share his or her holidays with his or her family. It can be interesting to see how similar or different other people’s traditions are. It’s okay to try something new (as long as it doesn’t compromise your self-respect). Checking out their holidays, their church or temple, their family life will help you appreciate the diversity of the human family.
- Don’t be too hard on yourself. Maybe you gave in to the pressure. You started dressing differently, or ate some food that’s forbidden by your religion. Spend some time alone to reflect on the experience. Did you enjoy it? If so, consider it a learning experience and don’t assume that a temporary exploration will change you forever. Did you feel ashamed? Forgive yourself and move on. You’re only human, after all. Above all, be true to yourself. Do what’s right for you and don’t let anyone else pressure you to change.
Breana Orland is a writer for Education Grants. Breana also gives advice on the pursuit of higher education and career options for young adults.
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